My Life

Vrbno pod Pradědem

When I was born in Bruntál hospital, we lived in Vrbno pod Pradědem. Although we lived in this small town only until my second birthday, even up to this day I vividly remember the beautiful wild brook behind our house with big kingcups all around. I used to play in this brook even though it was icy cold, and I used to listen to the powerful sound of its stream, which fascinated me. I also remember the high mountains and the deep dense forest, where we used to play Indians. I always carried a big stick with me, which helped me not to be afraid.

A lady from the neighborhood used to tell us fairy tales in such a heart-felt way that many times I started to cry. I recall her vividly till this day – I can still see her sitting there on a cricket and myself staring at her with mouth wide open. I was happy.

Prešov

My mum decided that my daddy needed musical education and that we had to go with him, so that he could pursue his career. Out of the blue we moved to Prešov. I did not like that town at all and there was nothing there to inspire me. Maybe it is important to add that my dad used to play and exercise daily, he was learning to read music in order to, according to my mum, “work his way up”. I myself had to sing at the age when I probably could not even speak properly. My first song was “Kohutik jarabi” (“Little cock”):

Little cock
do not go into the garden
you might dig out a lilly
and then they kill you

And where they kill you
there they bury you
there under that bench
where young maidens sit.

My father always put me on the table where I used to stand and sing. I was very unhappy in Prešov.

Opava

My mum made another decision and we moved to Opava, where my father got a job at the Zdeněk Nejedlý Theater Orchestra. My mum became a nursery school director and she used to sing at the Moravian Teacher’s choir, where she also sang solo. I remember that I liked this music, because they mostly sang Janáček, but it was clear to me even then that I would never want to sing this way. Sometimes my sister Iva and I acted in children theater plays. I kind of liked this, but I did not get any kick out of it, as I had to act in the evenings, and in the morning I went to school and in the afternoon to the music school for lessons in either piano or cello. When I finally got home, there was a lot of homework to do and a lot of lamenting, so no time was left for me to play with friends outside. I hated many times all the things I had to do, because it was always an order from my mum, despite the fact she meant well.

I started learning to play piano when I was five, lead by my mother’s strict hand. I remember how I used to be beaten with a belt. It was as if someone was cutting my heart to pieces. However, the worst thing was when my daddy got an order from my mother to beat me up for something I had done. He always did what she had told him, but then I heard him crying in his bedroom, which hurt me the most.

My daddy was able to go on listening to my “music production” for hours. Later, when I could play a little, I played little pieces and when I managed to play them well, he burst into tears with happiness. He was this kind of person. He lived for music. He taught us not to be afraid in front of people. Many times it happened that he woke me up at night to play for his friends, whom he used to bring over to our house. This was how I gradually lost my shyness and unconsciously got accustomed.

Horné Saliby

My most powerful inspiration and memories come from the times when my father had me seated on his moped and took me with him to Horné Saliby to see his Roma family. Freedom. Love. Truth. Space. Life that I had dreamt about. There I had always seen my father happy. There I found out, what it does to a man when he is free, when he is not suffocated, when he can breathe freely. Dad used to be sad all his life, but in Saliby he was at home. There was singing and playing, crying and rejoicing. There were real feelings, unlike the life in the theater and among the actors, who struggled in vain to be true in their starring roles, which they fought for so much that they were even able to betray their friends in order to present themselves. Or unlike my ambitious mother, who pretended only so that everybody spoke well about us. Everybody’s opinion on us meant more to her than our hearts. In Saliby it was different.